It came without much of a fanfare.

They say the one-year anniversary of someone passing away usually marks a bit of a turning point. Where the grief doesn’t sting as much, where life feels lighter and where the loss feels more accepted.

I’m not sure what I was expecting when the anniversary of my dad’s passing came around earlier this month. Perhaps I thought the sadness would come back in full force. Or maybe it would feel faintly similar to that numbness that takes up those early days and weeks after the loss. Maybe I thought I needed to do something epic to honor my dad.

It was none of that, but so much more.

It felt almost ordinary.

There wasn’t a resurgence of grief and sadness, but a feeling of “this is how it is.”

I can’t change this, but I can accept it.

I spent the day with my mom and we traveled to my dad’s grave where we trimmed away some of the plants that summer made grow. We plopped two chairs down in front of it, and toasted to my dad with our sparkling waters while playing his favorite songs. We talked about him, laughed over stories, and sat in some peaceful silence.

Then, we gathered our stuff up, said one more goodbye to him, and made our way to dinner with some long-time family friends of ours… stopping to pick up my dad’s favorite pie on the way. My brother honored my dad across the country playing golf—one of Dad’s favorite pastimes during his life.

It wasn’t a big to-do. There wasn’t anything fancy.

Yet, it was perfect.

My dad was a simple man. He loved his family, and he loved being together with his friends.

He also would reminded us, “When I go, I want you to cry your eyes out for a day…then live life to the fullest.”

My brother, mom and I could all tell you that we didn’t honor the one-day of crying rule (we’ve all surpassed that single digit in our tears), but we certainly understand his sentiment.

He lived a wonderfully full life, filled with blessings and all his favorite things.

And he wants that for us.

This one year anniversary was a sign that we could handle a year without my dad being here physically. It was also a signal that while we can miss him… we can also live our lives to the fullest. It is what he wants for us. And I truly believe it’s what we all want when our own time comes for our loved ones.

One year later, and it finally sinks in.

It’s really all good. Truly all good.

From the healing comes joy. From the grief comes peace. From the loss comes love.

I love you, Dad.