What Really is Joy? (+ Why Do We Need it in Our Lives?)
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Joy. The word has been around for ages. Yet growing up, I always thought joy was just “extra happy”.
However, it was during my healing journey that the word joy kept coming up in my head. Curious, I set out to figure out *exactly* what joy is… keep reading to see what I found!
Formal Definitions of Joy:
I decided to start with what the more formal definitions of joy are. Here’s what some of the biggest traditional dictionaries define it as.
Joy (noun):
- “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires”-Merriam Webster Dictionary
- “great happiness” or “a person or thing that causes happiness” -Cambridge Dictionary
- “the emotions of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation” -Dictionary.com
What is interesting is all three definitions state that joy comes from something outside of us. Whether that be a person, place or a thing.
Using these definitions, we can feel joy when we have something, are somewhere, or are with someone. I’ll feel joy when I have that dream car. I’ll experience joy when I am on the beach in the sun. I’ll be joyful when I am with my family.
For me, that doesn’t seem entirely right.
Why do we have to rely solely on something outside of us to make us joyful? And if joy is an “extra step up” from happiness, how is it really that different from just being happy? And is there a way to feel happiness without having to constantly rely on things outside of us?
The Book of Joy’s Definition:
A few years ago, I bought The Book of Joy which captures conversations between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (along with Douglas Abrams) about the topic of joy. Given the authors, the book is truly wonderful on so many levels.
One thing that I absolutely love about the book is it gives a new definition to the word of joy. According to The Book of Joy,
“Joy… is much bigger than happiness. While happiness if often seen as being dependent on external circumstances, joy is not.”
–The Book of Joy
I love this definition. It not only shows that joy is indeed an “extra step up” from happiness, but it also shows that joy is found from within us. We don’t need a thing, person, or place to feel joy. Joy is already there!
The Book of Joy
Brené Brown’s Definition:
Brené Brown, one of my favorite authors and researchers has several wonderful quotes about the term and feeling of joy!
In her latest book, Atlas of the Heart, she covers a plethora of different feelings that make up being human. One of them includes the feeling of joy!
According to Brown and her research,
“[…] [Joy is] an intense feeling of deep spiritual connection, pleasure, and appreciation.”
-Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart
What I like about this definition is how it truly shows all-encompassing the feeling of joy is—it truly is an alignment of all the things that make us…well…us!
Atlas of the Heart
So What *Actually* is Joy?
The Book of Joy leans on the research done by Paul Ekman and Matthieu Ricard to help define the term.
- Delight
- Amusement
- Contentment
- Wonder
- Bliss
- Rejoicing
At a recent airport trip, I picked up a special edition of Time Magazine called The Power of Joy (I was thrilled to see this as you can guess!).
According to its first article,
“[d]efining joy is a fool’s gambit.”
Time Magazine, The Power of Joy
Yet, the article concludes,
[U]ltimately, the pursuit of joy comes down to a singular affair-as it must be for something experienced so personally and subjectively.”
Time Magazine, The Power of Joy
So, what is joy? It’s hard to explain based on what these two resources are saying. It’s a mixture of several different emotions, but ultimately, it is up to the individual to find what that joy mixture is to them.
Why Do We Need Joy in Our Lives?
We live in a society that is often trying to get the next thing. A society that so often strives towards materialism.
Yet, for me and so many others as well, we might get some happiness when we finally have something we wanted. But, it never lasts.
The new car doesn’t make me feel so happy after a month’s time. Sitting on the beach won’t make me feel that happy forever. Seeing my family, while wonderful, loses its happiness after a while.
Following The Book of Joy‘s definition, we can feel joy without anything. We don’t need to purchase anything or necessarily do anything.
In a society that so often places value on external things, joy is a way to be radically genuine. It doesn’t matter how much money you make. What your job is. What we have or don’t have.
Joy allows room for all other emotions, including pain.
Joy truly is just there. Within us always.
Imagine life feeling joyful. Feeling this elevated happiness, without needing to constantly be searching for the next thing to buy/do/be. How wonderful that must be, and we can have it right now!
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